I keep asking myself if people get a high off bullying, does it give them some sort of excitement that we are all unaware of or is it simply to cast pain on someone else for no apparent reason?
I look back and think about all the people that would bully me back in middle school. Was it really worth it to follow me home day after day just to throw rocks at me and call me hurtful names; to make me cry and wish I was invisible day after day, was it really worth it for you?
All those days that I would come home from school crying, did you ever once ask yourselves if I was ok, just once I would l love to switch shoes with you so I could understand why you would do it and so you could feel how it made me feel every day of my life.
After middle school I thought that maybe the bullying would stop, that maybe they all grew up over the summer but boy, was I ever wrong; things just seemed to have gotten worse. It was the real deal this time; I never thought I would get jumped by gangs and get beat until I could not even breathe anymore. I always asked myself what I did to deserve such cruel punishment.
The first week of high school was a brutal awakening. I remember standing around in a circle talking with my friends when out of nowhere a girl that I've never seen in my life comes out from behind me, and punches me in the back of the head knocking me out cold. Finally waking up from the cold reality of things; I find myself surrounded by teachers and other students.
Walking towards the principal’s office, I'm still trying to figure out what exactly had happened; my memory was foggy. As I walk in I take a seat and see the girl sitting across from me, she's saying I started the fight and I took the first swing, I had no idea what was going on so I was sitting there not saying a word until I hear the principle saying that we would both serve suspensions, but why? I was the victim, but I didn't argue back.
By the tenth grade I felt like I had no control over the torment so I found something that I did finally have control over. Every time that I was humiliated or hurt, I added to my scars; I did this for a few years until, thankfully, my mother found out.
Later on in the same school year my friends decided to turn on me over something so silly. I was left alone with no friends, I would eat by myself and have no one to talk to. I felt this was more ammunition for people to bully me.
Eleventh grade, I found new friends, not quite my scene but they didn't judge me or try to constantly tear me apart, it was bitter-sweet. Some of the bullies had graduated the previous year so I was given a small break. So I thought.
One Friday night me and my new friends decided to go out to this dance out of town, I thought it would be good to finally get out and have a good time. It started off great, laughing and having the time of our lives, I forgot to mention, it was also my birthday.
As the night went on we continued to have a great time until one of my high school bullies showed up at the dance and spotted me, I was absolutely terrified so I tried to hide to avoid any drama. It didn't work out. Seconds later I found myself on the floor getting my ass kicked once again, I didn't even try to fight back, I knew it was useless, everyone just stood around and watched until someone finally pulled her off of me.
I left the dance covered in my own blood, I didn't even wait up for my friends, I just wanted to be alone so I just left, I couldn't even cry that's how broken I was.
Grade twelve; it’s supposed to be the best year of our lives, graduation year. I can't really complain about it, I tried to put the past three years behind me. I met my new group of friends that year, still to this day we're still friends, they never let anything bad happen to me, and they protected me. It was the greatest feeling in the world.
Even though I was finally comfortable with a good group of friends it still felt like something was missing, I really wanted to fit in with everyone so I started doing things that I wasn't really proud of simply because I never had the chance while I was always being tormented. I started doing heavy drugs and drinking often and I hid it well for the most part, I just wanted to be cool.
It’s been about 5 years now since I've been out of school but the bullying didn't stop there. It continued a little bit during college but it wasn't too bad. But I started working a part-time job where once again I found myself being bullied, it got to the point where I often called in sick to avoid the torment, I would have several panic attacks throughout the day, I remember having one that was so bad that it made me vomit so I asked to go home early but I was told that if I left that I would no longer have a job so sure enough I left that situation. I could no longer endure the stress of it all.
I suppose what I'm trying to say with my story is that bullying hurts more than any other pain that you could ever imagine, so why do people have to do it every day. Everyone needs to take a stand and end this once and for all. It's not cool nor is it funny, it hurts. If you or someone you know is getting bullied doesn’t just stand around, do something about it before it's too late. I wish that I would have told someone how bad it was back then but I kept it to myself because I was afraid it would just get worse and I would just be known as a "rat" but I now know that wouldn't have been the case. Don’t be victims of this awful crime; get the help that you deserve.
You can contact Candice to hear more by following her on Twitter: @CandiiceFoster
I look back and think about all the people that would bully me back in middle school. Was it really worth it to follow me home day after day just to throw rocks at me and call me hurtful names; to make me cry and wish I was invisible day after day, was it really worth it for you?
All those days that I would come home from school crying, did you ever once ask yourselves if I was ok, just once I would l love to switch shoes with you so I could understand why you would do it and so you could feel how it made me feel every day of my life.
After middle school I thought that maybe the bullying would stop, that maybe they all grew up over the summer but boy, was I ever wrong; things just seemed to have gotten worse. It was the real deal this time; I never thought I would get jumped by gangs and get beat until I could not even breathe anymore. I always asked myself what I did to deserve such cruel punishment.
The first week of high school was a brutal awakening. I remember standing around in a circle talking with my friends when out of nowhere a girl that I've never seen in my life comes out from behind me, and punches me in the back of the head knocking me out cold. Finally waking up from the cold reality of things; I find myself surrounded by teachers and other students.
Walking towards the principal’s office, I'm still trying to figure out what exactly had happened; my memory was foggy. As I walk in I take a seat and see the girl sitting across from me, she's saying I started the fight and I took the first swing, I had no idea what was going on so I was sitting there not saying a word until I hear the principle saying that we would both serve suspensions, but why? I was the victim, but I didn't argue back.
By the tenth grade I felt like I had no control over the torment so I found something that I did finally have control over. Every time that I was humiliated or hurt, I added to my scars; I did this for a few years until, thankfully, my mother found out.
Later on in the same school year my friends decided to turn on me over something so silly. I was left alone with no friends, I would eat by myself and have no one to talk to. I felt this was more ammunition for people to bully me.
Eleventh grade, I found new friends, not quite my scene but they didn't judge me or try to constantly tear me apart, it was bitter-sweet. Some of the bullies had graduated the previous year so I was given a small break. So I thought.
One Friday night me and my new friends decided to go out to this dance out of town, I thought it would be good to finally get out and have a good time. It started off great, laughing and having the time of our lives, I forgot to mention, it was also my birthday.
As the night went on we continued to have a great time until one of my high school bullies showed up at the dance and spotted me, I was absolutely terrified so I tried to hide to avoid any drama. It didn't work out. Seconds later I found myself on the floor getting my ass kicked once again, I didn't even try to fight back, I knew it was useless, everyone just stood around and watched until someone finally pulled her off of me.
I left the dance covered in my own blood, I didn't even wait up for my friends, I just wanted to be alone so I just left, I couldn't even cry that's how broken I was.
Grade twelve; it’s supposed to be the best year of our lives, graduation year. I can't really complain about it, I tried to put the past three years behind me. I met my new group of friends that year, still to this day we're still friends, they never let anything bad happen to me, and they protected me. It was the greatest feeling in the world.
Even though I was finally comfortable with a good group of friends it still felt like something was missing, I really wanted to fit in with everyone so I started doing things that I wasn't really proud of simply because I never had the chance while I was always being tormented. I started doing heavy drugs and drinking often and I hid it well for the most part, I just wanted to be cool.
It’s been about 5 years now since I've been out of school but the bullying didn't stop there. It continued a little bit during college but it wasn't too bad. But I started working a part-time job where once again I found myself being bullied, it got to the point where I often called in sick to avoid the torment, I would have several panic attacks throughout the day, I remember having one that was so bad that it made me vomit so I asked to go home early but I was told that if I left that I would no longer have a job so sure enough I left that situation. I could no longer endure the stress of it all.
I suppose what I'm trying to say with my story is that bullying hurts more than any other pain that you could ever imagine, so why do people have to do it every day. Everyone needs to take a stand and end this once and for all. It's not cool nor is it funny, it hurts. If you or someone you know is getting bullied doesn’t just stand around, do something about it before it's too late. I wish that I would have told someone how bad it was back then but I kept it to myself because I was afraid it would just get worse and I would just be known as a "rat" but I now know that wouldn't have been the case. Don’t be victims of this awful crime; get the help that you deserve.
You can contact Candice to hear more by following her on Twitter: @CandiiceFoster